A Rant...

December 14, 2010

I have to get this out and I figure here is as safe a place as any...  Here is much less likely to cause a fight.  Here, my rant is much less likely to be known to very many people at all.  So...

We had a terrible time in our family about 3 years ago.  Awful.  Totally unexpected on my part.  The kind of thing that caused me to lose 16 pounds in 2 weeks.  Working through it was not easy -- it was, perhaps, the hardest thing I've ever chosen to do.

It seems like in the past couple of months I've heard and read a LOT about forgiveness.  I feel like I've forgiven everyone involved.  At one point, after one sermon, I even considered that I needed to express my forgiveness toward an individual that I don't see (unless by accident) in order to really get over this.  Keep in mind this person has not asked for my forgiveness, nor has this person apologized.  I didn't do it -- the forgiveness expression thing...

Lately I've noticed that our paths are beginning to cross somewhat.  Because we have children who are close to the same age and this individual has decided to "play" at parenting again, it is likely that we're going to run into each other at activities.  Also, our children are becoming pretty good friends.  Hmmmm.  This would really stink except that this individual's parents are actually raising the children which means that when this person quits "play" parenting again, our paths are less likely to cross.

Well, tonight the paths crossed.  Thankfully we were quite a distance from each other, but both of us were aware of the other.  I am just experiencing a lot of anger, frustration, etc. that I thought I was over.  I'm not over it completely.  I think I can honestly say I do not wish this person any ill will; I do; however, want this person to continue to pay for the damage they've done. 

So, I guess I need to really pray about this.  Life is too short and too precious to harbor bitterness, even when it's justified (at least from our human perspective).  I actually feel much better now!  Thanks for letting me rant.  I'll be much more prepared to deal with this the next time our paths cross.

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  1. This situation is so difficult. One would think and hope that a person could completely past this, but then humanity kicks in. It would be hard to ever get completely over it. Praying for you, friend.


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