Just had one.  On the back deck.  By myself.  Maybe the stress of the last month finally caught up with me.  One second I'm cutting myself a piece of strawberry cake and the next second tears are welling up in my eyes and the second after that I'm headed outside so no one in here thinks Mom has finally lost it.  (I'm sure they know that.  What might surprise them is if I found "it.")  A few minutes of sitting on the step next to a yellow canna in the back yard seemed to help.  A few times of asking God, "Why?  Why? Why us?  Why again?" also seemed to help.  I can't say I came in with any immediate answers, but I think the good thing here is that I did come in.  There was a moment there when I may or may not have considered getting in the car and driving until the gas ran out.  Just a fleeting moment, I promise.

Someone told me this week I had a "good attitude" about this whole unemployment/layoff/we're broke situation.  I would agree.  I have tried very hard to be positive and to see the good in this.  That's getting a little harder to do.  We had a great week/week and a half together as a family once Jamie came out of his initial anger, then depression cycle.  We had some laughs and some good times just hanging out around the house together.  Everything is cyclical, though, and let's just say starting our school-year routine Monday is going to be a wonderful thing. 

The girls are handling this like mature little people.  They understand that for at least the next little while (I hope it's a little while) we're making major cutbacks.  I'm sure they don't like it, but they do seem to understand it and they've kept their complaining to a minimum.  I told them I hate saying "No" all the time, so just don't ask for anything.  They're catching on!

Maybe this post is too personal.  I would never dared to share any of this 3 1/2 years ago when we went through a very similar situation.  But, I really only know about 4 people who read this blog who I see regularly...they know anyway!  Maybe there's a random person who will stumble across this and feel like they're in good company as they walk through their own difficulties.  Just maybe there's a random person who will stumble across this and they will need a talented machinist to join the staff of their amazing, well-paying, we-respect-our-employees company!  Wouldn't that be something? 

Next time I'll be cheerier : )