Yesterday our Molly doll turned 12!  EEEKKK!  It seems like yesterday we were headed to Little Rock, getting an amnio to be sure her lungs were mature, then checking in to UAMS to embark on our journey with baby girl #2.  It also seems like a lifetime ago that we were anxious about what to expect once she arrived.  We had a diagnosis -- Spina Bifida -- and we had a prognosis, however vague it was.  While I would gladly take away the effects of her birth defect to make her life easier, I would never take back the lessons I've learned through this -- namely, that God is in control.  Learning in utero that our sweet baby had a birth defect really marked the beginning of my maturing in my faith.  For the first time in my 24 years I was faced with a situation that I could not control at all -- I could not even manipulate the outcome -- my hands were tied.  It's very difficult to describe the peace that brought me.  There's just something about being helpless that is sort of freeing, but I suppose it's only freeing if you believe that God has a plan to ultimately use the situation for good.

Twelve years later we have a beautiful girl who walks without crutches or bracing.  She does have a neurogenic bladder and bowel, but she has learned to manage that for the most part.  She is shy and quiet most of the time; she'll answer you with one word.  She isn't ever the center of attention and she much prefers to just observe others from the sidelines.  But, I see her growing and changing.  She is the most honest person I've ever known.  Molly is really one of  a kind and people miss out on understanding that about her because they don't truly get to know her.  My prayer for these coming years is that she'll gain confidence in herself, that she'll grow in her relationship with Jesus and find her worth in Him, and that she'll find a group of friends who love and support and include her. 

I had a few minutes this evening to grab the box of old pictures -- old as in they were taken before we had a digital camera.  Just indulge me if you will...  I miss this little gal!  My heart longs for those days -- for some do-overs and just an opportunity to revisit them and enjoy them more.  The days of having two little girls at one time were difficult, but they were also sweet.  These photos were all taken within the span of 5 years or so and it's been such a long time since I've sat down with them.  Sweet, precious memories -- even if the quality is bad (I just took a pic of the pic with my phone.)!

Bath time!  Parker had a little tan, but Molly was no fan of the sun.

You can't tell, but Molly has on a pair of play heels and she's walking in them.  This was huge.  She didn't walk until 22 months and just seeing her manage in these was amazing.

Halloween 2004 -- this was my sister's pumpkin costume that she also wore at age 4.

Hiking at Devil's Den

Not gonna pretend otherwise -- this was a very common Molly face

Cruella Deville and a dalmatian

Age 4 -- preschool picture

At church -- EMZTBC in Clarksville

Baby Annabelle

Turning 4 -- she got her ears pierced after this

Turning 5 and avoiding the paparazzi

Turning 6!

Matching PJs!

Blue icing mouth -- a very serious condition

A moment of sisterly love

Little fairy

Easter 2002

First Birthday!  Matching overalls!  Think they'd do that for me again? 

Oh, my sweet Molly!  I love you so much and I want nothing but blessings and good things for you.  Life hasn't always been easy for you, but you are clothed in grace and dignity and well on your way to becoming a godly young lady.  I'm so very proud to be your mom.